Why? Why do you have to be sad? You said you want to die, why? You're life isnt that bad. I feel like a failure, can't make anything better for you. After one year and something, you still don't want to open up to me. I know I cant give you advice and all, but when I tell you shizz, you don't always give me advice, but I still tell you, cos your my boyfriend, the guy I want to spend my whole life with. /sigh.
Point is, you dont have anything to be sad about. You may not have much freedom as you use to, but you still have that little bit, it should count for something. You may not have the best life ever, but you dont have the worst either. Try to make the best of things, is that really too hard? I dont know what it takes you make you happy. I need you to tell me. I wanna make you happy.