hate seeing him like this.

/sigh
See. Told you something would end up ruining my day.
He's all sad, and I dont know why. I went on msn, and his pm seemed depressing. He just told me its the "usual stuff," what the hell is that?
I wanted to give him a call and talk, but he didnt want me to. Cos hes "tired." Thats bloody bullcrap, hes playing the DS at the moment. =(
I hate seeing him sad, and whats more homo is that I cant do anything to cheer him up. Cos he doesnt let me call him, and he doesnt want me seeing him either. And when I signed on msn, he wanted to go straight away. Like, what the hell? He's like "ive been on for ages" thats bullshit.
I want him to stop pushing me away. I want him to need me. But I dont think that could ever happen for him, hes just so use to pushing people away.

I want to call him..I do =/
There is so much I want to tell him..

i miss you.
so much..

I dont understand why Im like this. Why do the littlest things get me down. I use to just be happy no matter what.
Now the only time im happy is when im around people. Cos everytime Im around people, it always takes me mind off things. But when im alone, im just, not really happy.
It's weird.
I dont know what it is though. Theres just always something that upsets me.
Its stupid.
I want to be less emotional. I want to not care about anything.
I want to have a whole day of being happy. I forgot the feeling of that. I honestly have.